I've been accepted into University for their English Arts and Literature program. It's not the best university in the world, but it's still quite good, and very close to home so it doesn't drain away any more of my parents' money forcing me to go into residence.
I've managed to get in touch with two old friends recently, which is always good...
So why do I feel like crap?
I don't know honestly. I think part of me's just given up. On everything, really. Life's kinda gotten to that point where I can't draw the line between what I need to do and what I want. I'm lonely...which is something that should be hard with all the friends, loved ones, and family that I have. But I'm lonely. Scared, lonely and sad...
I look at myself and wonder how that's possible, and I really just don't know. For the last 4 hours I've felt nothing but and empty sad feeling in the pit of my stomach right around the time Gabby blocked me for disagreeing with her on something. I feel like every connection I have with every person I know is nothing but an empty lie waiting to be exposed so everything can come crashing down.
That might be a bit dramatic, but I find it very difficult to trust people. Those I do trust are very special to me...but lately they've done nothing but attempt to shatter that trust..most without even realizing they're doing it. I'm being pushed to my limits, wondering just when I'm going to be completley out of friends and family, and when I can be REALLY alone.
I should get a job. I should get a place to stay. I Should have a life of my own. But for some reason...I just don't feel like getting up and doing any of it.